THE DAILY SPARK

‘HANDLE HARD BETTER’

View of Clinton Hut from the highest peak on the Milford track

“We all wait in life for things to get easier.  Think in your own life if you’ve waited for something to get easier… oh, I just got to get through this and then it’ll be easy.. it’s what we do.  We wait for stuff to get easier.  It will never get easier.  What happens is you handle hard better.  It never gets easier.. you become someone that handles hard stuff better.  That’s a mental shift that has to occur in each of (y)our brains.  It has to shift.”

Kara Lawson, Duke Women’s Coach… from a pep talk for her team.   To get inspired, watch this video:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oDzfZOfNki4 

REFLECTION:

  • Are you waiting for things to get easier?
  • What experiences have you had where you “handled hard better?”
  • Is there something happening in your life now that requires a mental shift to be able to handle it differently?
  • Try on a mental shift.

CURIOUSITY

Cherry blossoms in bloom around the Tidal basin in Washington DC

Anyone can listen.  All you have to do is stop talking.  But to be a good listener, you have to stop talking and be interested.  Genuine curiosity is the precursor to understanding, and a good listener helps the other person feel understood.

Quote by James Clear from his book ATOMIC HABITS.  To learn more, visit: https://jamesclear.com/

REFLECTION:

  • Are you a good listener?
  • Are you curious when engaged in a conversation with another?
  • Practice being curious when talking with someone today and note what happens.

UNDERSTANDING OTHER… UNDERSTANDING SELF

When we get angry, we suffer.  If you really understand that, you also will be able to understand that when the other person is angry, it means that she is suffering.  When someone insults you or behaves violently towards you, you have to be intelligent enough to see that the person suffers from his own violence and anger.  But we tend to forget.  We think that we are the only one that suffers, and the other person is our oppressor.  This is enough to make anger arise, and to strengthen our desire to punish.  We want to punish the other person because we suffer.  Then, we have anger in us; we have violence in us, just as they do.  When we see that our suffering and anger are no different from their suffering and anger, we will behave more compassionately.  So understanding the other is understanding yourself, and understanding yourself is understanding the other person. Everything must begin with you.

 Quote by Thich Nhat Hanh

REFLECTION:

  • Is there someone you have anger towards? Are you suffering because of it?
  • Can you step back .. take a pause and see the impact it is having on you physically, mentally, emotionally?
  • is it worth it?
  • How can you understand  yourself better and open to a new understanding of the other?
  • Begin with you!