“THAT”S NOT WHAT I MEANT”
Disagreements among people who mean well usually begin with that emotion. You meant to say something or agree to something but the “other side” didn’t hear it that way. That’s enough for one to walk away forever. Because denying the experience of the other person doesn’t open the door for re-connection. Forward motion is possible if we can extend the sentence to, “That not what I meant, but that must be what you heard, how do we fix this? Will you help me make things right again?”
If we can agree on intent, it’s a lot easier to figure out how to move forward.
Quote from Seth Godin’s Daily Blog
REFLECTION:
- Is there a relationship you have walked away from due to a disagreement or is there a relationship in your life that is strained because “that is not what I meant” exists?
- Are you willing to acknowledge the other person might not have heard what you actually meant to say?
- What if, you can acknowledge there was a misfire in the communication. What if you could say, “That’s not what I meant, but that must be what you heard. How do we fix this? Will you help me make things right again?”
- BE BRAVE… try it! (and let me know how it turned out!)