Disagreements among people who mean well usually begin with “That’s not what I meant” emotion. You meant to say something to agree to something, but the “other side” didn’t hear it that way. That’s enough for someone to walk away forever. That’s enough for a lawsuit. Because denying the experience of the other person doesn’t open the door for reconnection. Forward motion is possible if we can extend the sentence to, “That’s not what I meant, but that must be what you heard, how do we fix this? Will you help me make things right again?”
If we can agree on intent, it’s a lot easier to figure out how to move forward.
Source: Seth Godin’s Blog
REFLECTION:
- Are you facing a conflict with another person?
- Could it be you meant something and they heard something else?
- Can you attempt to repair the situation using the sentence above including – How do we fix this? Will you help me make things right again?
- Can you agree on intent?