The DAILY SPARK Blog

LONELINESS

Usually we regard loneliness as an enemy.  Heartache is not something we choose to invite in.  It’s restless and pregnant and hot with the desire to escape and find something or someone to keep us company. 

When we can rest in the middle, we begin to have a nonthreatening relationship with loneliness that completely turns our usual fearful patterns upside down. 

FROM:  WHEN THINGS FALL APART Heart Advice for Difficult Times by Pema Chödrön. Pema Chödrön is an American Tibetan Buddhist and ordained nun. Born 1936 –

REFLECTION:

How do you view loneliness? 

What do you do with loneliness – do you welcome it in as a time of deeper reflection – a chance to examine at a greater depth what is really going on?  Or do you fill the time trying to find someone or something to avoid the heartache?

How can you sit with and rest with the dragon of loneliness?

BEING DEMANDING

We have been trained to think that being particular about what we want is indicative of good taste, and that not being satisfied unless our preferences are met is a sign of worldliness and sophistication.  It can be seen as having high standards, when in actuality it is only a means of isolating ourselves from being touched by life, while rationalizing that we are more special than those who can’t meet our very demanding standards.

Accepting life as it is doesn’t mean denying its difficulties and disappointments.  It means that joy can be found even in hardship, not by demanding that we be treated special, but that we treat everything that comes our way as special.

FROM:  THE BOOK OF AWAKENING Having the Life You Want by Being Present To The Life You Have by Mark Nepo

REFLECTION:

Think about a time you were demanding beyond just taking care of your basic needs.  What were you really needing?

Is there a hardship you are facing now that you can view a different way … with joy?   If not with joy, can you pause to take an honest assessment of what you really want/need.

Do something today to ensure a ‘fill up” for you so you don’t resort to demanding and isolating actions.

KINDNESS CHANGES EVERYTHING

Before you know what kindness really is
you must lose things,
feel the future dissolve in a moment
like salt in a weakened broth.
What you held in your hand,
what you counted and carefully saved,
all this must go so you know
how desolate the landscape can be
between the regions of kindness.
How you ride and ride
thinking the bus will never stop,
the passengers eating maize and chicken
will stare out the window forever.

Before you learn the tender gravity of kindness,
you must travel where the Indian in a white poncho
lies dead by the side of the road.
You must see how this could be you,
how he too was someone
who journeyed through the night with plans
and the simple breath that kept him alive.

Before you know kindness as the deepest thing inside,
you must know sorrow as the other deepest thing.
You must wake up with sorrow.
You must speak to it till your voice
catches the thread of all sorrows
and you see the size of the cloth.

Then it is only kindness that makes sense anymore,
only kindness that ties your shoes
and sends you out into the day to mail letters and purchase bread,
only kindness that raises its head
from the crowd of the world to say
It is I you have been looking for,
and then goes with you everywhere
like a shadow or a friend.

Poem by by Naomi Shihab Nye – Poet, songwriter, novelist    Born 1952 – 

REFLECTION:

What sorrows have you experienced that have given way to a deeper kindness?

How can you be more kind?